Wow. I can’t believe today is here already. Today is “Clean up loose ends day” here in Casa de Ky.
I have to take my WHIMIS test (regarding working with chemicals, the safety procedures etc.). Do laundry. Put away laundry. Attempt to finish up a sweater. Send off some emails regarding bursary applications. Get my son’s daycare bag ready. Get my school bag ready. Take inventory. Photograph inventory… Hehehe! This is REALLY happening!
I know I keep saying it. This is REALLY happening! School. My purple laptop. The child I’ve always dreamed about. The man I’ve always dreamed about. The home. The car. Some of these things are not how I pictured them (I thought I would own my own car, which I do not and I thought I would be living in a house in the country, which I do not). But you know what? Who cares?! Right now, in this VERY moment, I have EVERYTHING I have ALWAYS wanted. I have the child, the man, the house, the car, the key to my dream career… I think that’s a key. Take a look around you. Do you have everything you have always wanted? It may not be exactly what you had envisioned, so look closer. Be grateful for what you do have because, and I know this from experience, it can be snapped away in the blink of an eye. What you had envisioned could be right around the corner and by being thankful for what you have, that may just propel it closer to you 🙂
I have also found that sometimes the timing of what you want just isn’t right yet. I had been actively whining and moaning about a laptop for about 2 1/2 years. It sure has made life easier. BUT… If I had have got my laptop when I wanted it in the first place, Sweet Purple (yes, I’ve named my laptop!) wouldn’t have came to me. I would have seen her elsewhere and then probably went down the “woulda, shoulda, coulda” trail, whilst beating myself up for not waiting!
I think the same can be said about school. I had the exact same barriers that I am facing today 2 years back. I just got tired of letting them hold me back and took a stand. Was I ready 2 years ago? I know I would have succeeded, but I really don’t think I was ready then. Also, I am grateful for the timing because of what happened with my best friend. Looking forward to school and preparing to soar is how I’m coping with things and honoring his memory. If I wasn’t going to school, I don’t know what I would have done.
I’m not quite sure what my original point of this post was going to be. I think it was about how crazy busy my day is going to be. I like the direction it took though. It is amazing how you feel after a “gratitude rampage.” Try it and you’ll see 🙂
On another note… It was twenty years ago yesterday that I started grade 9. I am so excited about bringing that girl with me and showing her things that she’s only dreamed about. I love how I’m FINALLY being true to me. I really was doing myself such a disservice. I deserve so much better than the path I allowed myself to stumble onto. I was just mentioning in a Facebook post about how I actually get a body buzz when I just start talking about school! If that’s not my soul jumping up and doing cartwheels or some form of happy dance, I don’t know what is! Lol
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!